Christmas Blessings and New Year Joy

The twins arrived on Dec. 15, courtesy of a C-section, at 37 weeks exactly. During the week prior, low fluid levels were measured on my baby boy's amniotic sac, so the doctor decided the time had come to welcome my little ones into the world. I was thrilled, of course, since I was so tired and sore from carrying around the two babies and I wanted to finish up the pregnancy before the holiday. Both babies were healthy, fine, and required no NICU time -- she weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz. and he weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz. -- big babies for twins.

The C-section was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Of course, it was painful and sore, but I think I was so relieved to have the babies out and healthy that it helped me deal with everything better. Within two weeks I was completely off the mildest of pain meds and was able to drive again! Of course, I'm not going anywhere much, since having two little ones in the winter isn't exactly perfect for outings. My older daughter was born in the summer, and I've noticed so many differences between summer and winter babies. For one, you can't get out easy and there aren't many places to go where you won't run into constant germs. Also, winter babies make for much more laundry -- my daughter basically wore a onesie for the first few months of her life. These little ones are layered with clothes.

So how has life been? Chaotic and tiring, mostly. I am truly blessed with these little ones, but they can wear me out! I think lack of sleep is the worst part -- I don't get many hours in a row, and trying to keep a normal home routine for my older daughter in the midst of no sleep and demanding babies is definitely a challenge. I just keep telling myself that this time won't last forever and in a few months I'll forget how draining these first few weeks were!

In the meantime, I spend most of my time in a handful of ways: laundry, keeping up with the housekeeping so it doesn't get out of hand, feeding and burping babies, and not sleeping. Our older daughter has been the most fantastic big sister, with no adjustment issues yet. She just loves them to death, and thinks of them as "her babies" too. I was very worried about her emotional state as she transitioned from an only child for 7 years to having two siblings, but so far, it has been excellent. I give her as much attention as possible, and I'm back to my school volunteer commitments with her.

Next week, my husband will go back to work full time. Although he has been helpful to have around (he's working from home right now), I will also relish the ability to fall into a set routine with the babies and family life.

I'll try to update whenever possible, but right now babies are calling!

Still Waiting!

Let's see... where to start?

I'm still here, still pregnant, officially 36 weeks and 2 days. I'm considered full term for twins, but my OB won't schedule a C-section until 39 weeks, which is Dec. 28. I can't imagine going that long... and I don't want to be in the hospital at Christmas, because the hospital has a ban on kids under age 18 visiting -- all kids -- because of the flu. As much as I want my healthy babies, the thought of not seeing my daughter on the holiday just dissolves me into tears.

I'm so ready to be finished with this pregnancy. Mind you, for a twin pregnancy, I've done really, really well. No diabetes. No high blood pressure. No bed rest (although I put myself on bed rest many days when I don't feel well -- the OB has never TOLD me I have to do that). I've only gained about 23 lbs., and as of last week, the baby boy was 5 lbs. 6 oz. and the girl was 6 lbs. 8 oz. (She's going to beat her brother up!) My girl twin does have a heart defect, which I was upset to hear, but it's minor and it's the same thing my 7-year old daughter has and she's turned out fine.

So now I wait and hope my OB schedules me for a C-section next week, so I can be home for the holidays. I'm a little terrified for the surgery, but I've had many people tell me it's not too bad, so I'm trying to be positive. I could try for a vaginal birth, but with baby B being bigger and having a heart defect and currently lodged in my hip, I think I'd rather go the C-section route. Positive stories are welcome in the comment section of this post!

In the meantime, my life is basically being spent on the couch, reading Facebook, trying to get some work assignments done, worrying about the C-section, thanking God for the support and help of both my husband and parents, and taking many, many outings to the doctor's office and the hospital for tests.

When something happpens, I'll be sure to post. Keep me in your prayers, wish me luck, and I wish everyone a very happy holiday season!

Gosselins Go Wild!

I'm still following the train wreck that is the Gosselin family. I hate to admit it, but I can't resist this story because it's so heartbreaking. So, here are some thoughts...

I can't believe the papparazzi hound those kids on their way to the bus every. single. morning. That's just ridiculous. There should be a law...

I can't believe Jon Gosselin decided to pull the plug on filming the kids when he was booted from the show. He had an "epiphany?????" Um, yeah. Right.

I'm no Kate fan, yet I watched her "Today" show interview on Monday and actually "listened" to what she said. She never said or denied that there were not more bank accounts, Jon -- she said the account he drained was their "liquid" joint account.

And while we're adding up the numbers, and Jon estimates they've made $1-2 million from that show and wonders where the money went? I would say that they've had to live off of that, to some extent, to buy stuff like their "half of cow" or kitchen renovation -- I know they get free stuff but not everything is free... And if your mortgage is $700,000 but your house costs $1-plus million, I would say there's a down payment there, Jon, wouldn't you?

I get so disgusted that he's decided to suddently "man up" to his situation and now is bringing up all this junk from the past... That he tips off paparazzi and "works" with them for his own screwy publicity. That he reads e-mails from Kate to them and "Entertainment Tonight"... That he thinks he's actually helping save himself to the masses with these ridiculous appearances and interviews he's doing. That he thinks he needs to live in New York because of his "business contacts"...

He needs to remove himself from the spotlight right now, and save himself.

And I have to say -- I love this!!!

Response

Thirkellgirl said:
If she's got a 40 minute ride which you could do in 10 minutes, you miss seeing your mom friends, and she's having bus troubles, I can't for the life of me imagine why you *aren't driving her. Seriously. As someone whose daughters are practically grown (one in college and one a junior in high school) I'd love to have those car rides back!

Thirkellgirl,
I trying to let her make her own decision on the bus -- she still wants to take it, so I let her... I think it was harder on me than it is on her. It has gotten incredibly better in the past month and she had made some friends. Her activities have started, which means I do pick her up twice a week now.

In September, in the thick of it, I told her I wanted her to try it for a whole month. I also told her that things take time and work -- a life lesson -- and that sometimes we need to stick things out and work at them. She said to me one night recently: "Y'know Mommy, you were right! I kept taking the bus and it did get better!" That made me feel like I did something right.

Plus, I'm due to have twins by January and it will make life infinitely easier if I don't have to bundle them up in the New England winter, snow and cold, and drag them to school to drop her off and pick her up -- you have to walk the children into the school in the morning and sign them out in the afternoon, which means hauling two infants into a car in the morning and afternoon, driving them there, hauling them out of a car, into a stroller and into the school, when they are newborns and likely preemies in the middle of the cold winter. The bus -- which comes to my house -- will be easier on me (and them), so I'm letting her stick it out.

Do I miss our car rides together? Of course! Do I miss my daily interaction with other adults in the pick-up line? Yes, a lot of time. But I feel I taught my daughter one life lesson, I am giving her a little independence and confidence, and I am preparing our family for the months to come. And although it has been a difficult transition, I know this decision is right for now. If it really continued to be incredibly difficult on my daughter, I would have resorted to driving and worked it out. But I don't think I have to, at this time.

Pondering...

Why does Mattel not make Barbie storage cases like I had when I was a kid? Y'know, the kind with the side spaces for dolls, the little closet area and the drawers for shoes and small stuff? Why? Why is the only Barbie case I can find in a store a cavernous, mess-inducing large hole?

And does it seem like Barbie clothes are harder to find and not as ca-yute as days of yore? I think they should stop selling a Barbie for every hobby/career/pasttime/etc. under the sun, and allow us to buy just a few and then load 'em up with cute clothes that are made as nice as yesteryear.

And speaking of toys, why don't toy manufacturers make play sets that store easily within themselves? Like Little People. When I was a kid, all Little People houses had carrying handles and you could store the pieces inside. Now, they have open backs and no handles and you put the pieces in and they fall out the windows/openings/back. Seems backward if you ask me...

And why does my daughter continue to ask for toys in Target that are geared to pre-schoolers? Like play food sets... She loves anything to do with fake cooking...

And why does my little one obsess over craft toys from mail order commercials -- like Paperoni, Benderoos, etc? I see how advertising is such an influence...

On the reality TV front... Why does fashion guru Rachel Zoe not realize how skinny she is? Why? Does she not see her bones peeking through her skin? Does she not see how clothes do not fit her, but hang from her frame? Why does this annoy me?

Why do I continue to watch the "Real Housewives," even though they all annoy me? I can't believe they don't watch themselves on TV and not think that they need to "change" in some way -- are they that wrapped up in themselves?

Why can't I find any shoes that I like for my fat fee? I'm not a shoe maven anymore, since I became a mom -- I'm more about comfort. But there's nothing comfortable about most of the shoes I'm findng right now. Why do shoe manufacturers think everyone wants to wear six-inch heels and that everyone has narrow feet? Plus my feet are bigger again since I got pregnant... I'm not happy about my current shoe sitch since the only thing that fits me are my Birkenstock sandles. Not exactly attractive...

And speaking of feet, did anyone watch "Mad Men" this week? OMG, it was the best ever! After the "foot incident," I laughed and laughed -- so funny and such good writing... (I'm sad that "Don Draper" didn't win the Emmy though -- I just love him...)

Why is it that no matter how much I purge from my house in an attempt to prepare for the babies, I still manage to fill up every nook and cranny? How did I get so much stuff? I've really stopped random "buying" of things, but I can't believe how much "stuff" I have in this house. Enough for a garage/tag sale, but I'm not having one. I can't stand watching people go through my stuff. My mom took a great deal of it to store at her house for our local church's tag sale. I figure it's like a donation, even though I could probably use the money right now from a sale, but it seems like more work than it's worth in many ways. So I continue to clean out closets, reorganize messes, and all that fun stuff in an effort to be organized. But I still have a lot of stuff!

Why is it that I don't want to do anything today? I have a whole day with no commitments, other than my dear daughter's piano lesson tonight. I need to find shoes. I could use some groceries. But yet I'm here on the computer still pondering what I should eat for breakfast 90 minutes after my daughter has left for school. I'm going to get motivated soon, I swear!

Why do I like that stupid Farmville game on Facebook so much? Why? It's stupid, but yet harmless... I guess since I can barely take care of my own garden since growing a pregnancy belly it's somehow a poor substitute...

Why do I miss my daughter so much when she's at school? Some days, I admit, I don't mind having time to get the work around the house done uninterrupted. But most days, I just miss her and wish school wasn't so long. She gets on the bus at 8 a.m. and doesn't get off the bus until 4 p.m. It's too long!!!

And speaking of the bus, why are kids so mean? My little one decided to take the bus this year for the first time. She's in 2nd grade, and it's her last year at this school (we have "primary" school, K-2, then elementary, 3-5) so she wanted to take it while at this school. I encouraged it because I figured it make life easier once the twins come. But the first few weeks were hell. She cried because no one would sit with her. She'd introduce herself to a little girl, who screamed in her face not to talk to her and apparently pulled her hair. Her so-called "friends" that she knew on the bus would tell her they would sit with her the next day and then not sit with her. Everyday my heart would break and I would want to drive her, but even the suggestion of me driving her upset my little girl who would not give up on making "bus friends." I give her a lot of credit for that, but it has been so hard on me to see her sad. I've come to the conclusion that too many little girls are mean and nasty, and my naive daughter, despite being in 2nd grade, hasn't realize that just yet. But I am proud of her for still wanting to take the bus, even if her mommy really hates it.

And speaking of the bus, why do I miss picking her up at school so much? I miss seeing other moms and chatting and the whole social thing. And I totally miss having my little girl home earlier. She has a 40-minute bus ride both to and from school each day, even though her school is less than 10 minutes away. Yuck.

That's enough for today. I need to go eat something!

Babies on a Budget

Twins, twins, twins... take an expense and multiply it times two. This is, of course, a little bit of a issue when you are working on a budget. One baby would be a large enough expense, but two can put one doubly in debt.

My daughter is 7 years old now, and luckily I did save a lot of her gear and clothes and stuff. During the last few weeks, I've weeded through our spare room, where most of it was stored, to make room for babies. Some things have held up; others, like her carseat and old bottles, need to be given up for safety reasons. Some clothes and blankets have held up; others are stained and pilled and just yicky.

My mom is going to give me a small baby shower in October -- I was hesistant since I have a child already and my thought was "Is this OK? Is this good manners?" But my mother, being wiser said. "It's been 7 years. You're having twins. You're getting a shower." So instead inviting half the universe and renting a hall, she opted to keep it small -- under 30 people, mostly family -- and have it at her house, and spend the money she would have used on a big shower on some of our necessities. Like a double stroller. Carseats. A second crib.

It's funny how you are when you have your first. I have a beautiful crib from my daughter; this time around, I just want a second, somewhat inexpensive crib that resembles her old one (which is white and sleigh style). Last time around, I got a nice, moderately priced pack-n-play. Of course, I now need a second for traveling, but I put an inexpensive $59 model on my registry list.

And speaking of that registry, it's filled with basics. Like bottles. Diapers -- lots of diapers. A&D ointment. A second vibrating/bouncy seat. Things that will be well-used.

Of course, my biggest mental dilemna was baby bedding. My daughter's bedding set was girly. And hers -- at least I wanted it to be "hers" alone. Now I wanted something new for these babies, however ridiculous that seemed. But I also knew I wasn't ready to plunk down $400 for two matching bedding sets, nor was I willing to put that on a registry.

So I searched. And searched. And searched. I searched for something neutral or matching for my boy/girl twins. I thought separates might work -- like buying dust ruffles or bumpers separately. I scored Target and Walmart and everywhere to find something that suited my taste. Unfortunately, most everything is sooooo "modern" today, and I didn't want that. I wanted vintage! Everything I found on blog searches was handmade, and I know my sewing skills were not up to par for that.

And then one day, browsing through Babies R Us, I found this:



And this:



I loved them! All the pieces are made by a company called Cocalo and bought separately and are quite affordable... And they match! One is boyish and blue and green (called Emory) and the other is girlish and pink and green (called Ellie). They are totally my style -- cottage-y cute and not modern or cartoonish or overly boyish for the girl baby. I love them! We decided since both the boy and girl versions have green, the room will be pale green. I'll get pale green glass knobs for the old white changing table, put white curtains on the windows and it will work out just fine.

So today, my mom and I head to Babies R Us because they are having a trade-in event. Bring an old carseat, buy a new one at 20 percent off. Bring an old stroller, buy a new one at 20 percent off. So my mom and I lugged my old carseat and stroller and traded it in for a new carseat and a new double stroller with the discount, plus picked up a second carseat with another coupon coupled with a twin discount for a big savings. Mom bought it all, bless her heart, and I am enternally grateful.

Then we head to the bedding section. I was going to pick up one crib sheet to match paint chips, and lo and behold, it's all 30 percent off and about to be discontinued. I went into panic mode, because my shower is more than a month away, and what if my bedding isn't in stock then or after, when I need it? So I splurged and bought the pieces I needed (except for extra sheets). It was somewhat of a relief, because there is no way I'm looking for replacement bedding a month or two from now... I bought the two bumpers, two dust ruffles, two crib sheets and two blankets for $150 or so -- the 30 percent discount was pretty good. The only thing I didn't splurge on was two extra crib sheets in the elephant print (like in the girl version photo). Those are still on my registry and I'll either pick them up after or just use plain sheets to switch out.

So that's that. I'm starting to get ready for arrival. My nest is being outfitted with bedding and my mental dilemna of housing boy and girl babies in a single bedroom is solved.

Meanwhile, in other pregnancy news, I fell in my garage yesterday -- missed a step on my stairs and went down, landing on all fours on concrete. Messed up my ankle but my belly was unscatched, and I seem just fine. Now I'm icing my bruised ankle and wrapping it and limping around the house. I'm just a clutzy pregnant woman with a big belly. I can't imagine how huge I will be in three months or so.

Jon, Jon, Jon!!!!!

Any reader of this blog knows I am NOT a Kate Gosselin fan. Do I admire her organization? Yes. Do I admire her work ethic? Yes. But do I think she nagged her husband for years? Yes. Do I think that if a camera was on me 24/7 that I wouldn't appear bitchy at times? OF COURSE!

But that said, I have a bigger fish to fry.

Jon, Jon, Jon. What has happened to you?

No marriage is easy, every marriage takes work, and clearly we saw some issues on in the Gosselin home over the past few years play out on our TV. However, that is no excuse for Jon's idiotic, immature behavior during the past few months.

When the Gosselins announced they were "separating" earlier this year, I was devastated. As someone who has experienced my own marital problems, I felt their pain. But I know that with a little work, remembering vows and commitment, and focus on why one married in the first place, a couple can work through the mud and come out on the other end in a better place. I was so disappointed that Jon & Kate seemed to "throw in the towel" so quickly -- they had just renewed their vows in front of the world just a few months before! They had just bought that giant house and estate! The downward spiral seemed so quick, which, for me, was all the more reason to head to counseling and try and work things out.

But, alas, that was not meant to be. By then Jon was already hooked up with his college-aged girlfriend. And wasn't shy about sharing his love for her in the media.

This is what aggravates me. So you're getting a divorce. And you're famous and paparazzi are following you everywhere. Can you not just keep it in your pants until your divorce is final? Jon's ridiculous parading all over the town with various young women and kissing them in front of the cameras -- KNOWINGLY -- is just disgusting. He is pathetic. He is lost. He is misguided and ignorant to his own children's emotional well-being. I can't accept that behavior, and I think it's disgraceful to his family and his current wife.

Of course, we don't know the whole story. We don't know what conversations are taking place behind close doors. But I do know that Kate clearly has better advisors at this point, and shows tremendous restraint in not commenting over and over when those cameras follow her all over town, unlike her idiot husband who seems to encourage their presence.

I watched the Jon interview and cringed the entire time. How could he say he loves that young girl more than he ever loved his wife? Does he not think his children will see that? How could he say he despises Kate? Does he not think his children will see that? He is ridiculous. He is whiny. And I don't feel sorry for him anymore.

My gut tells me that once Kate started getting lots of "gigs" on her own -- the book, endorsements, etc. -- Jon didn't like being a house husband. He didn't feel like he had his own thing. However, that is his own internal struggle that he needed to deal with, to find his place within this famous family. It seemed that he resented his wife for finding her place within the circus in which they are living. So he reverted to "boy" ways, turning to snowboarding and going out with the boys. There was one point in the interview when he mentioned returning from skiing in Utah and wanting to go out with his friends, to which Kate asked him to spend time with the kids. Does he have a right to see his friends? Yes... But if you've been away from your YOUNG children for several days and return home only to want to take off for the night... I don't think that's the best decision, but that's my opinion and that's how I interpreted that comment in the interview.

However, clearly there wasn't a balance in the Gosselin household -- not enough time with extended family, perhaps not enough "guys' night out" or "girls' night out" to destress, etc. But then again, it would be something to work on if the marriage were to continue.

And where does their church -- their beloved church -- play into all this? They flaunted their Christian values in those earlier shows so much, writing family mission statements to God... But I do think the single most depressing thought for me is how before they left for that Hawaii vow renewal, Kate had a big discussion with the kids about how renewing vows meant that Mommy & Daddy would be together forever, yada yada yada... And less than one year later, Mommy & Daddy split.

Kate has said that the show has nothing to do with the dissolution of their marriage. I don't believe that. I do think that fame and wealth definitely contributed to the downfall of their marriage. Kate wouldn't be as fashionable and fancy as she seems to be now, parading around town on errands in high heels and full make-up with her spray-on tan. And Jon be thinking he's some star and wouldn't be likely sipping champagne in France with fashion designers and sporting Ed Hardy clothes and driving an OC chopper and living in the Big Apple. They would both be normal parents, dealing with raising a bunch of kids on a budget dealing with everyday life -- the reason we started to watch the show in the first place.

Now, I just wish they would give up the show. It's not fun to watch anymore, it's just sad. And depressing. I feel terribly sorry for those children.